how to stop feeling like shit.

i’ve got bad news for you.

all of that tragedy, suffering, and sadness you go through,

yeah it’s all created and perpetuated by you.

sorry :(

but here’s the good news!

you can end it.

yeah, i know what you’re thinking;

“oh here’s some hippy-dippy-dickwad who’s gonna sell me some supplement that turns my sneezes into orgasms and cuts my life expectancy in half”

no.

i’m not gonna do that.

however, if you find a supplement that does that, please let me know. my email is just a click away.

Instead, what i’m going to sell to you is an idea.

An idea from everyone’s-favorite-coffee-loving-sexy-philosopher from the 20th century, Albert Camus.

Camus created a category of experiences called the Absurd.

You know that feeling when you’re confronted with the injustices of life? The inherent unfairness and tragedy that makes up our everyday meager existence?

Like when you get fired from your job, your dog dies, and your car breaks down all on the same day?

Or when you catch your wife cheating on you with your brother and you actually find out that your child is not really your child?

Or when you’re trying to buy movie tickets and ticketmaster freezes up and you can’t buy those stupid fucking Taylor Swift tickets and all you wanted to do was make your kid happy and now you can’t fucki-

Ok you get it.

ANYWAYS, that’s the absurd.

The human confrontation with the fact that life is fucking crazy and tragic sometimes.

And here’s the thing.

This sucks.

This sucks because humans crave order and meaning and certainty.

We crave an overarching BIG BOY truth about how the world works and how it should work.

That’s why we create science. that’s why religion exists. That’s why American consumer culture tells you to buy buy buy when you feel sad sad sad.

Because we like single “truths” or ideas that we can grasp in our hands and follow blindly like cattle being herded to their death.

When humans confront the absurd, we feel like shit.

We feel divorced from our own lives, separated from being the controller of it as if we’re the victim of some Cosmic fuckface that’s trying to ruin our lives.

As a result, we spiral into madness, anxiety, depression, and neuroses. We cannot deal with the absurdity of life in tandem with our craving for certainty, order, and meaning for why things are the way they are.

But here’s the thing.

The absurd is a bitch.

It’s a bitch because it relies on us.

If we stop craving certainty, order, and meaning to everything in life, the absurd ceases to exist.

Ok, let’s step back.

At some point, you believed in Santa Claus. And every time your parents threatened to call up Santa and put you on the naughty list, you buckled. You ate your vegetables. You cleant your room. You did anything to not get put on Santa’s naughty list.

However, as soon as you stopped believing in Santa, you were free. As soon as you knew Santa wasn’t real, every time your parents threatened that dreaded Naughty List, you said “ok, MOM, try me BITCH! I don’t believe in your GAMES and BULLSHIT! I’m ABOVE IT MOTHAFUCKA”

Ok, maybe you didn’t say that, but something along those lines.

The power of Santa ceased as soon as you stopped believing in it.

Similar with the Absurd.

As soon as you stop craving certainty, the uncertainty, irrational, mutha-fuckin-crazy nature of the world that makes you upset ceases to exist.

It’s like Yin and Yang.

The Absurd exists because humans desire a single truth that orders the world and makes it whole. As soon as you cease the desire for a single truth that orders the world, the disorder of the world ceases to affect you.

You stop searching for hope in every little thing and instead, you accept life the way it is. You get up, dust off your clothes, put on a jacket, and step out into the rain.

And instead of trying to put an umbrella up, you enjoy the rain. Taste it. Savor it. Let it seep into your skin. And with your matted hair and sopping clothes, you step back into your house happy to continue living.

This is what happens when you don’t let the Absurd nature of life affect you. This is what happens when you embrace life’s craziness instead of trying to bring order to it.

Now, you’ll see a lot of parallels with other philosophies and ideas.

Specifically, Stoicism and Buddhism.

Camus says that ending the desire for certainty and a single Truth about how the world works leads to the end of the Absurd and all the suffering it causes.

Buddhism takes it one step further.

Instead of simply ending the desire for certainty and truth, Buddhism says “yeah bro just end all desire. cut that shit off bro”.

Buddhism is the fitness-dude that says “yeah dawg, instead of just drinking 2 or 3 beers instead of 20, just stop drinking beer bro.” And honestly, he’s got a point. The fitness dude, though he eats egg whites and spinach like a fucking loser, has a damn good point. And a good body too.

I haven’t fully been Buddhism-pilled-100%. Or at least, I don’t think I have. I truly believe desire is very helpful in fueling motivation and getting shit done. However, I think there is an incredible truth here.

Our suffering stems from expectations.

And expectations stem from desire.

Therefore, if you cut out desire, you’ve got no expectations for how the world should work, and then you’ve got no suffering.

Cool.

And now let’s get real concrete in this bitch.

Stoicism is your friend that’s lowkey CRAZY. Actually no, HIGHKEY. He just thinks in a different way. He doesn’t have any social media. He only watches History channel documentaries. He’s honestly really fucking weird, but he’s a nice dude. Also drops BANGER one-liners when he needs to.

Still though, great dude.

Anyways, Marcus Aurelius points out the utility of expectations in modulating our overall happiness/suffering levels.

“That to expect bad people not to injure others is crazy. It's to ask the impossible. And to let them behave like that to other people but expect them to exempt you is arrogant--the act of a tyrant.” - Marcus Aurelius, Meditations.

After slamming down a keg of eggnog(who the fuck drinks eggnog), Marcus is basically saying “don’t expect bad people not to do bad things to you. to do so is kinda whack.” He’s got a great point.

Don’t expect anything good or bad from others(the expectations flow both ways) and you won’t be upset when good or bad things happen to you. Expect nothing and you suffer nothing. Yeah, Marcus is weird, but damn he’s got some good points.

Let’s sum it up:

Bad shit happens to people.

Life sucks.

But life sucks because humans want it to NOT suck. They expect something from life. Some cosmic order and meaning to all this shit.

Because we desire cosmic order and meaning, we suffer.

To stop the suffering, stop the desire for cosmic meaning.

And we do that through modulating expectations.

Without expectations of the things that should or shouldn’t happen to us, we can’t get upset by the things life hands us.

hell yeah.

thank you.

memento mori.

stay curious :)